Glad he's not my dad

Have you heard about the story from Austria? Looky the freaks face was in the NY Times today. On another criminal note, I just heard that when the white man went to Australia it was to make it into a sort of penal country. I never knew that. I guess they are using California now. Maybe they should move onto Austria because it's full of locos. JUST KIDDING!

I should carry a camera

Not like I would ever get images like the one below in San Francisco (stupid traffic laws) but today I happened upon a great photo op. Without of course, the camera. This is why I am trying to text the image here. Imagine four scrubby younger teenaged boys sitting on top of an upright pile of SFPD barricades (they're metal and I think they would make really cute bed frames) taking a break from skating a very popular spot on Mission St. Messed up hair, bulky skater shoelaces dangling, and in each ones hands their very own bag of Haribo gummy bears. I can't believe none of them chose the coke bottles. Classic.

tonight

Hello internets. I went to the same bar with the same friend that inspired the previous post 'I'm drunk' and maybe I am a little bit. First off, who the f*!k thinks they can grab a girls ass as they are sitting at a bar? That happened tonight, and the jerks who did it kind of laughed, I yelled at them but should have punched them. My puppy is getting big. It is still comfortable when she climbs into my lap and instantly falls asleep but I fear in a few weeks it won't be. I never realized how big of a hermit I was until I was in this oddly lit parking garage of the movie theatre tonight ( I saw Baby Mama, it's probably worth it, I laughed out loud a few times) thinking about how packed it was with people. But then the bar came and went; the free drinks, the Indian (who asked if he saw me at the library- good pick up line eh?), the Petitioner, the Brazilian, the ass grabber (does not deserve caps). I'd so much rather stay home with Frida.

What is up with the style in SF?

I realize that I am not really one to talk when it comes to fashion even though I have an extremely large tattoo on my back which states: Fashion is Fun, but I often find myself wondering if fashion is playing a joke on those or us who reside in this metropolis. Today in Goodwill (by the way, is it bad to rip off Goodwill? I bought two dog dishes, one for food the other you got it water, and each were priced $2.50 they were stacked on top of each other and I failed to tell the sales associate there were two. Am i rotten? How many more grammatical errors can I break within these parentheses? I really need to read Strunk & White) I passed two people wearing those plastic neon sunglasses that were popular in the 80's. This is not all. Everyday I see people wearing skinny jeans, white socks, and vans which have made a huge comeback as of late and I hate to imagine all of the pairs of shoes being stitched by sweaty hands right now. I don't know where I'm going with this but it blows my mind the way people dress these days. Another thought, I think I've been having a heart attack all day today. That would really suck because I have no insurance.

introducing...FRIDA

I promise this won't turn into a puppy blog, but thought I should post some more pictures of the lil gal who has stolen my heart (and Antonios). Maybe yours too?

it's amazing the things you walk in on

Do not read this if you are eating or get woozy. I arrive at school to look over stuff for my exam tomorrow and wo and behold what do I see? A corpse on her belly, face down, severed head dripping fluid into a bucket on the floor. Her back side is completely flattened due to no movement (get it?, move mama move) and on the table beside her are freaking power tools. I was hoping to be able to take part in the actual cutting but didn't know they were doing it today. He said it usually takes 3 hours, but did it in 1 thanks to all the students help.
When I opened the door I think it surprised them a bit, as they had already cut the skull and were in the process of pulling out the brain. Should I describe the sounds, sights, and smells? Gladly! John (the instructor) had a phillips head screwdriver and was actually wedging it in between her skull and brain, he was sweating and pulling back and forth. The ripping of the duramater (outer most protective layer) sounded like pulling wet weeds out of soft soil. It didn't smell any different than a normal anatomy classroom and the color of the brain was the same as the preserved specimens we have seen before.
The leaking fluid was cerebral spinal fluid and the spinal cord looked surprisingly small, it was white and textured like celery. As John finally wedged the brain out of the skull he had to cut the optic chiasma (wikiP it dude!) and after that it was free from skull (kind of like mind/body seperation ha ha) then he handed it to a student who stood there holding it for about 4 minutes. Ha ha imagine that, here take this brain while I look at the eye sockets in this skull. I didn't see her face but the inside of her skull didn't look different than the older skull specimens. Apart from being wet, the skull looked like any you'd find in one of those mega chain stores that pop up all over town at a certain time in the fall when colors of orange and black abound.
I feel that I should say something about the cadaver business, because it is a very legit one that is mucho importante for us humans to survive. As people donate their bodies to science they are preserved, much like they do in the empire that we call funeral. And after about 2 years of students participating in out of this world experiences like the aforementioned ones in this fancy blog, they get reunited in the celestial kingdom to live with their earthly families forever and eternity.

this is going to make it very, very hard to study

Why didn't I hear about Rock Hudson?

Besides learning, the best part about being a student is finding out about all of the cool shit on the internet that teaches you stuff you never learned about as a kid because you grew up in a place where no one talks about important things, or for that matter, their true feelings. I suppose I shouldn't be so ignorant by saying no important things are discussed in Utah and maybe my teenage girl ears were closed when lessons were taught in my school about little events like, the Civil Rights Movement and AIDS. Or maybe my generation missed the boat, thanks to our standard of great presidential influences over the years. Were the kids who graduated in 1994 too young to be taught about AIDS, or was it still taboo to be discussed? As my professor of Anatomy says, it is a fascinating subject one which can be devoted to an entire semester. We, unfortunately got three slides.This is where the link comes into play.http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/aids/view/ - go here after reading this! I know all of my phantom readers have phantom laundry to fold, papers to read and, flocks of sheep to find but please instead of watching some lame reality t.v show or 240 other minutes of t.v, educate yourself with this Frontline expose. It's better than E!(and Family Feud). Bonus, you'll learn where this phantomesque photo came from. BOO YAY

i hate the word paradox

I am preparing to take the exorbitantly priced GRE test and by doing this I'm building my vocabulary. I just don't understand how the root dox which means belief, teaching or opinion prefixed with para which means beside can combine to create the meaning of paradox. Can anyone shed some light on this for me? I hate this post. This picture is from Portugal. I am eating barnacles. That's right, barnacles. Please don't mind the slight resemblance of man hands.

the protests should be fabulous

As I watched a lone police officer wait for back up with his gun pulled to a car full of suspects, I just couldn't help but feel a bit excited for tomorrow and the chaos that will engulf my great city. For those that don't follow the eternal flame, tomorrow is the day the Olympic torch arrives in SF. And, from this picture you can tell, people are preparing. This stunt caused the Golden Gate bridge to be closed to all pedestrians (a majorly big deal for tourists and commuters I reckon) until the worlds eyes have moved to another city. Tomorrow no SF police have the day off and hundreds of extra CHP officers will be in town. So pull up your swat gear and get in line! You've got a Fancy Ham to reckon with!

only hurting myself

I don't know what got into me. I started to get hung up on this comment thing, and was thinking mad thoughts like I wasn't going to post anything if people weren't replying. Then I realized I am not writing for this, them, or that. I'm writing for me, not the mother C (comments). So please if you will, pardon all the comment jumble and I promise, to me, it shall never happen again. Although, I am curious as to how many iPods have been through the masses. On current count average is three per person. Damn, I am only average. Maybe I'll put my lil red one in the street with the left overs so I can get a new one and be above average.
Tonight perched high on a cushion in a row of velvet seats I listened to my favorite poet, Billy Collins. He stood in the middle of a beautiful rug on a hardwood floor in an old time theatre with wonderfully painted walls. I was grateful for my balcony seat so I could see the entire rug, the blurry poet, and the tiny glass of water jiggle ever so slightly. I was pleased to hear he would be signing books afterward, because I brought my lanyard for him to sign. Why would I bring a lanyard and not a book? Well, that's easy. Posted below is a snippet of his poem entitled "The Lanyard". Enjoy.
The other day as I was ricocheting slowly
off the blue walls of this room
bouncing from typewriter to piano
from bookshelf to an envelope lying on the floor,
I found myself in the "L" section of the dictionary
where my eyes fell upon the word, Lanyard.
No cookie nibbled by a French novelist
could send one more suddenly into the past. A past where I sat at a workbench
at a camp by a deep Adirondack lake
learning how to braid thin plastic strips into a lanyard.
A gift for my mother.
I had never seen anyone use a lanyard.
Or wear one, if that’s what you did with them.
But that did not keep me from crossing strand over strand
again and again until I had made a boxy, red and white lanyard for my mother.
She gave me life and milk from her breasts,
and I gave her a lanyard
She nursed me in many a sick room,
lifted teaspoons of medicine to my lips,
set cold facecloths on my forehead
then led me out into the airy light
and taught me to walk and swim and I in turn presented her with a lanyard.
"Here are thousands of meals" she said,
"and here is clothing and a good education."
"And here is your lanyard," I replied,
"which I made with a little help from a counselor."
"Here is a breathing body and a beating heart,
strong legs, bones and teeth and two clear eyes to read the world." she whispered.
"And here," I said, "is the lanyard I made at camp." ...

high on life aka death

Today I dissected the reproductive and urinary systems of a 6 foot tall cadaver. In laymen's terms I cut an 84 year old penis lengthwise. Following that, I pulled a testie out of the scrotum and cut fat away from the renal area so I could see the tube that allows the urine to flow from the kidney into the bladder. This was an extraordinary thing for me to take part in, seeing as how some RNs and perhaps even some medical students don't get the chance, as a first year anatomy student. I will describe the innards if any of my phantom readers would like me to, but that would involve an actual comment from the suspect in case. I'll sum it up by saying that I think everybody, who has a body, should take an anatomy course. In a few weeks we get to take the brain out of the female before she is set aflame. Party!
Moving on to consumerism. I have had three iPods, only one of which I've purchased. Yesterday. While standing in line I wondered how many iPods the average person has gone through and why it is not that big of a deal to make a large purchase like that
(I bought a lil shuffle for $50 that's why I say it's no big deal). The tourists behind me went up to the counter asking for two 16 gig iPhones which would have been around a grand-excluding CA sales tax which is muy alto. They were out of stock of the 16 gigs, and the retail clerk didn't even direct the couple to another Apple store. This prompted me to ask the cashier how much the store sold daily. He couldn't say. Then I started thinking about the recession. Alas, I was happy to learn that the iPod I chose is part of the program that a percentage (probably minutia) of sales goes to fight AIDS. Colored red, of course. If you'd like, because I would like very much so, please leave a comment and let me know how many iPods you've had in your life.
Also, I think the garlic shrimp I cooked tonight were a little past their expiration date and I hope the homeless that I left them for in the street do not get sick.

Happy Birthday girlhood (and adult) hero!

I just picked up this hefty book and was pleased to see Valerie Janes birthday is the 3rd. Can I go to the jungle with you? Maybe at the zoo they will hand out balloons (that the animals will choke on).

Here's a Wal-Mart bash, because they need it

I can't even believe that I am writing about that place but what I can't believe more is, that some people I know shop there. Imagine this, you get in a car accident, severe brain damage settles in. Thank the lord you have insurance from this corporate hell you've been working in. They shell out $470,000 for the medical expenses and later turn around and sue you for the same amount. In the meantime you have brain damage, your husband (who works three jobs) has to divorce you because Medicare will be more beneficial if you are single and, freaking Wal-Mart is suing you (while they probably make that much an hour). Ok, so the lawsuit has been dropped because of all the bad publicity for the company- oh and in the meantime your son has been killed in Iraq and, you still have brain damage. I wish this was posted on April 1st, but it's the bloody truth in our great land the USofA. On another note, I have an awful confession. I watched American Idol last night (hey, Dolly Parton was on it!) and must say how happy I am that short Asian chick got booted off. I may even watch another episode now.