oh hamy night

the rain is freezing falling it is the night of presents galore.
And this makes me realize how much I don't want a traditional family. I want my kids to run around in the bush, to swim naked in clean rivers, and, to pick wild berries. Where could such things take place? Africa? Bali? Montana? And how does one who is accustomed to getting anything she wants whenever she wants it (no I'm not spoiled, I'm American) break out of this horrid lifestyle to achieve such simple living? Two words: Peace Corps? (kind of beats the other two that have been on the mind the last year: Grad School)
What do you think?

there's something to be said

about sleeping with dogs. The morning facial licks are enough to make anyones day.

and the depression sets in

I didn't think it would happen so fast. Two things to change it: get out of my head, and out of moms house.
I'm going to yoga.

upon entering Utah

This was said to my little sister, whose child is about to turn one, last night
"you should be getting pregnant soon, it's better to have them close together."

wide awake at 5 am. I am a lucky gal

Luck, you may ask? Of course! I love to be awake this early and wish I woke up in this sort of mood more often. I'm sure the people reading this are cringing right now because they are all mothers (fuckers) (isn't that what blogs are all about posting your pics of the lil ones? UH NO!!) and have awoke many times at this hour before- but there is something about just waking up, knowing that today is going to be a great day that makes for a wonderful early cup of coffee and a good solid 2 hours of study time before I take my Physiology final. After I pass with a 90 (realistically 78) I am headed for the open road. CD books and Frida in the front seat, and the back piled high with stuff I don't need.

let this be known

Staying at your x boyfriends house after you have moved out makes for a hard nights sleep. I should be studying now, freaking Physiology is a damn hard class. Especially when your professor wants to be teaching medical students but is at a community college instead and presents in 78 slides what another professor shows in 18.
Big change for me coming up, not looking too forward to it as I hate the cold. I know the move is temporary and must remind myself that so I don't become a 39 year old stay at moms home. I am excited to see Frida in the snow though. But will admit that she is going to miss the ocean so much I feel a bit guilty taking her from it, considering the lakes will be frozen in Utah until we are ready to depart. Not the Great one though, and god forbid I let her swim there. It would be worse than trying to get the stink out of a skunked dog. I'd rather take her to Antelope Island and let her chase the bison. Okay, I guess I'm a little excited to hit the land of Zion again, if only for a short time. Graduate school (in a hopefully warm ocean climate) here I come!

feeling very pessimistic about this week

Note to self: check to make sure the corner store has Campbells Tomato Soup in stock when ordering a grilled cheese to go from another restaurant. Progressive Tomato Basil does not cut it.

and on this day

Fancy became an adult.

The events leading up to this moment in my life have blended somewhat smoothly together. Mostly because of my quintessiental family, beloved friends, great therapist, and growing pitbull. And not to forget music, which will help any soul who uses it- note to Vicky Hatch. I would like to thank the Fleet Foxes, whom I've just discovered, and have helped me harmoniously with my new status of singlehood.
But the surreal experience that I just sat through was the topping on the cake of adulthood I've so longed for. The setting was a corner office in an insurance company, the notary resided there. He had made it his Oasis-beautiful & intricate model ships he'd assembled, a chandelier, dusty gifts of fine liquor, the widest grandfather clock I've ever seen, christmas angel in the window, candle burning, and endless plants.
And the reason I'm sitting across from this jolly man with luscious lips? I am a witness to the signing of divorce papers between my freshly made x boyfriend and his sweet wife of seven years, four of which involved yours truly.
So as I am taking all of the notaries serene office space into account I realize what a major change my life is going to take. And music was discussed the whole time.