back to back dreams

I'm sharing these for my benefit, not for that of my phantom readers, because I never remember my dreams and it just so happens that, for not one but two nights in a row I've had very vivid dreams that are still wedged in the skull. Before I dispel I'm going to copy and paste from Mr. David Sedaris on undecided voters.

'I look at these people and can’t quite believe that they exist. Are they professional actors?
I wonder. Or are they simply laymen who want a lot of attention?
To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. “Can I interest you in the chicken?” she asks.
“Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?”
To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.'

And now the dreams. Kari, my sister, and I are on this smaller sized cruise ship headed to Mongolia, (you know because it is so landlocked and all) it seems like we're on the ocean because there are waves and we're on the top deck excited because we see our docking point, which is the peoples house we are going to be staying at. We also see hippos. Many, many hippos. And these are huge getting ready for the Mongolian winter hippos, not your average African river horses.
The boat barely stops to drop us off and we sludge through the wetland to get to the house. The house has this sort of European old person feel, light brown shag carpet accompanied with the classic geriatric scent. The lady is very nice, shows us our room and tells us the price is $13.00 a night. I ask her about all of the hippos, because they are everywhere. We are in the kitchen and this ginormous hippo is trudging up the hill to the neighbors house. We are scared, they are scared too. The neighbor gives up a plastic container of dog bones to the hippo, which opens it eats the bones and tosses the container down. Then the hippo sees us. We run towards our guest room. I'm standing against the door while the hippo is terrorizing the house. I decide it's better to hide under the bed because the hippo could obviously break down the door and under the bed would be harder to spot us. So we bolt bedside and what do we see? 3 lovely afghans folded so neatly; one pink, one tan, and the other, who knows? Finally, the raucous ends, the man of the house comes in the bedroom with a small handgun and explains the mess we have caused. I feel terrible and begin to start cleaning.

And last nights. I'm enrolled at UCSF (a somewhat prestigious school, I guess) the classroom is a big beautiful wooden one, and a friend and I are not paying any attention. The instructor calls on me to join in the discussion. I apologize to him, say I wasn't sure which page we are on and he is livid. Everyone knew what was going to happen. I was to be expelled the UCSF way. A group of established looking older gentlemen come in and call me to the front of the room. They circle around me, as if being confirmed after baptism, and in front of the whole class I am officially withdrawn from the school.
Could you imagine?

What I learned today

The faithful (or is that fateful?) Mormons have put forth millions of dollars (probably your tithing) in order to fight a proposition that is not even on the Utah ticket. Prop 8, here in CA, is in support of gay marriage so it figures they would be against it. As Carol Liefer said, "it's funny that the Mormons, whose history stems from polygamy, are against this proposition." Wake up and smell 2008 Mormon readers and stop giving up that 10%, because they are spending it places that they shouldn't be.
It is amazing to me that issues such as this are being discussed during the crises that we live in right now. Not only is the economy about to flounder, the oceans are rising and the molten lava pots below them are about to bubble out killing off everything anyway, so I guess it doesn't really matter if they fight a stupid ideal about marriage being between a man and a woman when soon there won't be either one to walk down that dreadful aisle of time and all eternity. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ Amen.

Thanks for the great ass. You are dearly missed.

I keep thinking about how you used to tell me to work for Halmark or the Forest Service when I was in my early twenties. I told you this the last time I talked to you and even though you could barley talk, you let out a loud burst of laughter. I really wish I would have listened to you. It's alright though, and I told you this too, I'm 32 and on my way of making something of my life. And I promise to you not to give up. Because I know you never did.

two things I adore

If I ever move from SF, which I'm sure will be next year, I am going to miss my haircutter immensely. Before I moved out here I would fly from SLC for haircuts. That, of course, was when I was employed and taking a trip a month. So here it is my current two favorite things.. My new haircut and this yogurt. It's a greek style called Fage and you can buy it from Whole Foods or Trader Joes. Get the non fat and fill it up with walnuts and honey (necessity) and enjoy. I seriously moan when I eat it.

oh oh the places I'll go

I've been distracting myself with images of dream vacations and thought it would be beneficial to put into print the locations around the world that I long to visit. So, in no particular order here goes..
Mongolia, Mexico, The Baltic, Indonesia et al the little islands around there, Turkey, Greece, Budapest, France, Prague, Scandinavia, Antarctica, Japan, Africa, Tehran, New York and all over the Southern US, Argentina...
That is a good list to work from for now. Of course I want to go everywhere but it is good to have priorities, right?
And now I'd like to publish where I have been, to remind myself of how bad ass I really am
(and how much bad asser I need to be).
Germany, Spain, Amsterdam, Austria, London, Lisbon, the Yukon Territory, Vancouver B.C, Hawaii, Alaska and the Arctic Circle, Mucho locations from various US road trips, Jamaica, Costa Rica, Thailand, Egypt and diving in the Red Sea.
Did I forget anywhere?

Have I done any good in the world today?

Have I helped anyone in need? I asked a woman sitting in her car how to get to this town and she replied, I'll take you. When I profusely thanked her all she said was, do something nice for somebody else. Isn't that the golden rule? Then I got drunk with my sister. Apart from the waitress I tipped, that was doing something nice for me.
We sang that song at my grandmas funeral and the part that says 'then wake up and do something good' I put a little umpthf in it 'then WAKE UP and do..' isn't that how it should be sung? Especially in church, even at a funeral.

I'm gonna miss her

I'll write more about my feelings on death and funerals and stuff, but until then I wanted to get this classic Thanksgiving picture out into the world wide web. Isn't she the cutest thing? And him? That's Aaron, my sisters beau, who has never tasted a drink of alcohol in his life. Wouldn't have guessed it would ya? A memory: one time I ordered a beer in front of granny and she ordered a non alcoholic one so I wouldn't drink alone! She quite liked it too.

as I'm boarding the plane

I ask the pilot what side of the plane the sunset will be on. His response,'I don't know I haven't checked the weather'. Uh, wait a minute you are flying this plane and you don't know your East from your West? I feel safe. Real, real safe.

circle of life

My grandma is about to die. It is snowing on Mars.