Monday, January 11

Finally out of the fog

The new year started eleven days ago, I turned 34 five days ago, and I finally figured out the man I have been with off and on six years was exploiting me to no end. I became empowered. It's embarrassing to talk about and perhaps that is why it persists as it does. I want to do some work with other women, shake them into knowing they can leave a bastard who either physically or mentally abuses them (you do not have to be with anyone you don't want to be with). It is no way to live and I wasted six years of my life. SIX YEARS! I noticed my soul slipping away, but it hasn't gone yet I can still cry.
I am gaining self confidence. I can go to a record store and buy some new music. I will go to events that I want to attend. I will talk to men and make male friends! (not looking for sex AT ALL). I can wake up with my favorite radio program and best of all, I wake up alone in my new bed!
The thing that makes me the saddest is how prevalent domestic abuse is in our society. A friend of mine said to me that everyone has to go through an abusive relationship because you learn so much from it. Let's hope not! I have learned, but there are definitely better ways to learn about this taboo yet common affliction. I know this blog is probably never read and I haven't even expressed myself how I would really like to. I guess I just wanted to tell the world and no one that I am a healing woman who still has her soul.

13 comments:

Unknown said...

I think you are brave and strong and lovely, and I've always known that it was just a matter of time before you sorted him out of your life. High five.

Matt said...

Hi Fancy Ham,

It was nice to bump into your soul on here. I just wanted to let you know that people do read these blogs and sharing your experience can and will touch, move and inspire others. Keep writing and know that you can create anything for your life that you want. You just have to believe that anything is possible.

Michelle said...

Congratulations! Good for you! My ex-husband got into drinking and drugs and he became very abusive. I was terrified to tell him to leave. I had no self-esteem left. He walked out and I started the divorce & changed the locks right away. He lost his place & wanted to move back in but I said "NO!"
Life as a single mom can be difficult but it is so much better without him here threatening to kill us, refusing us food and medical care.
So, I am proud of you.
Good luck :0)

Anonymous said...

It's great to read that you are out of the fog. I hope you enjoy breathing the new air.

Kimberly June said...

Hugs from a stranger that also escaped the misery of an abusive relationship. I'm sure I stumbled on your blog for a reason today, maybe to remind me of how much better life is today or maybe to encourage you in your journey of healing.

amateur idler said...

I can't say it as prettily as Matt did up there, but add my applause. Thank you God for letting me stumble onto this blog. This is inspiring.

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interesting post!keep posting

lesapeamusings.blogspot said...

Hey, wher have you been? Are you doing OK. Someone concerned.
My name is Lesa, thank you for being so real. Keep praying to God have the strength to face each day. Take care

Lesa

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Captain Obvious said...

Hmmm. You go girl. I have found myself that the more I write about the the offenses against me that the less power they have over me. This is the way to true love....

Peace.

Tracychan said...

I am so happy for you and your new life. Some day I hope to enjoy the same level of happiness that you are now experiencing with your newfound freedom.
Congradulations and take care,

Unknown said...

I just finished a book called 'He's just not that into you' (nothing like the recent movie) and though it is 'unscientific' and very simplistic (an easy read) it does make some very good observations about our frequently made relationship decisions. (I'm healthily and happily married and I learned from it.) Congratulations on your new found strength. You're worth being cared for. Pam
http://pamssointoit.blogspot.com/

En Volk said...

Thanks for sharing this, everyone should be in a abusive relationship I think thats crazy. I just got out of a relationship with a really manipulative guy, so he might not be abusive, but I don't need the headache.