doc says

I should focus on the goal of graduate school. What else am I going to do, get another waitress job (for which I have an interview today)? It's great advice really, and oh so true seeing as how I have a terrible habit of going all over the place and never coming back again. So from now on I shall focus on graduate school, aint no thing but to do it. Knuckle down buckle down do it do it do it, right Roger Miller?

Must remember..

Stay out of ones head. There are so many other things going on around you, like, hello your mother got her doctorate today! That is huge, HUGE!! Congrats Ma and may all my useless depressive episodes be put to rest. Did you ever wear braces mother?

the inspiration, it flows like the water defrosting my pork chop

I don't know if it's because of the two I am loved comments, or the amount of fresh air I've been hiking through but dammit this day has been good! First off, can I tell you how cute my dog is? She is sprawled out once again and you can see every ripple in her body. I want to go buy her a girlie collar with my last twenty dollars. Now that is love. Secondly, it feels good to get jobs and even better to maybe get even better jobs. Let's keep our fingers crossed for a beautiful restaurant with an open air feel to it. And even more hopeful is a new place I may have found to live. And lastly, the idea to do my own care giving gig. I want to get magnets that read Shannons Senior Services yada yada and attach them to my truck. I know I would do well in Marin, but I've got to take the first steps. Business cards with my face on them soon to come. I got the catchy slogan already, for those in need count on me indeed. Imagine internet scammers take it right away from me. Better act fast!! So much going on yet so single it's sad.

only Gloria says it aloud

As a woman enters the elevator in her apartment complex she is very friendly, introducing herself to the new tenant all smiles and how do you dos. Right as the woman steps out of the shaft, she turns to me with her hand up to her mouth and proclaims 'fuck em all!'

Hello nothing and Everything!

And why do I like living in America so much? Because when I want an apple in the middle of the night I can get one. I can walk in the darkest of nights on a tree lined street, in a very safe neighborhood to the 7-11 where the Indian with the thing on his head scans the barcode for Red Delicious. And I notice the stars, of course, and the moon. The moon. Almost as great as the sunset tonight scarcely opening through quickly moving clouds to let the pink hues through before the blanket of fog settled in. And did you get what you wanted from this life, even so? I did. And what did you want? To realize that I do not want to be in school right now (or never), that life is short and I need time to heal from all of the mental shit I have been putting myself through for the last oh 20 years or so. Damn I really lay it out on this blog. Too bad none of my old friends read it and call to see how I'm doing. Gotta love those Mormon guilts! Thank you Raymond Carver for the lines to your poem.