The new year started eleven days ago, I turned 34 five days ago, and I finally figured out the man I have been with off and on six years was exploiting me to no end. I became empowered. It's embarrassing to talk about and perhaps that is why it persists as it does. I want to do some work with other women, shake them into knowing they can leave a bastard who either physically or mentally abuses them (you do not have to be with anyone you don't want to be with). It is no way to live and I wasted six years of my life. SIX YEARS! I noticed my soul slipping away, but it hasn't gone yet I can still cry.
I am gaining self confidence. I can go to a record store and buy some new music. I will go to events that I want to attend. I will talk to men and make male friends! (not looking for sex AT ALL). I can wake up with my favorite radio program and best of all, I wake up alone in my new bed!
The thing that makes me the saddest is how prevalent domestic abuse is in our society. A friend of mine said to me that everyone has to go through an abusive relationship because you learn so much from it. Let's hope not! I have learned, but there are definitely better ways to learn about this taboo yet common affliction. I know this blog is probably never read and I haven't even expressed myself how I would really like to. I guess I just wanted to tell the world and no one that I am a healing woman who still has her soul.
Monday, January 11
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