just my writing

The title of this post comes from the tabs at the top of this blog site, choices like Monetize, Stats or Design. I just want to write but fear it won't be tonight as I have drank some beers from my place of employment and am now all nestled in bed. And have I mentioned that it is Christmas Eve?
Wow. The thought of it. Thirty five, in my mothers basement about to embark on graduate school. Thank god. If I didn't have that, what would I have? Seriously- it is time to get things rolling and recognize what is funktified. Or lack there of, which is me!
I long for a communtiy but fail to get involved where I reside.. always just two or three steps away from happiness. Isn't that right Perry Farrell, from a cassette tape I listened to in my formative years. Get it? I just poured myself another beer.
Honestly, I am scared of grad school. Sort of like I will fail, or give up. I can't though, then I will be a waitress with 50 grand in debt from a program I never finished. I am so sick of being a waitress. Why am I even thinking like this? Like it's an option not to finish the program. And like it was an option to be a waitress 15 god damn years. Wow.
Maybe I should end on that thought. Or this one.. whatever it is that you want to do, or wanted to do as a child- do it. Life keeps going and it's better to live your dreams than not to.
So one day I will see the Mongolian sky and live in the jungle with animals.