could I really do that?

Could I really kill my pooch? My stomach is sick just thinking about it. I'm going with the have as much fun as we can notion, real life will come when it may. Five thousand plus dollars is a lot of money. Ugh.

Oh the beauty

Knowing it was going to be a gorgeous day today, I laid in bed for a long time adoring my dogs face (I know, I know, maybe it is time to look for a man) but as long as she cuddles so close to me I am going to let her and therefor start my day at 11 well, noon. Staying in bed that long often makes me lazy and although I felt like taking Frida in the forest (thank you Utah)I tried to talk myself out of it and go to a park instead. Am I glad I went canyon bound. It is so good to be back in Utah and experiencing things of my youth again, we went up Ferguson Canyon which I frequented in high school. It was simply amazing. Pictures I will post and hopefully soon. Frida was a mistake to bring up there though, she kept trying to get into the raging stream and I had to keep her on the leash. From now on the canyon Frida and I shall visit is Neffs, Ferguson will be for me alone. It was a chore going down through the wet boulders with 70 pounds of pure muscles pulling me. I kept thinking about the health insurance that I do not have and maybe it is wise to hike with another person. Problem is, I don't know many people here. To internets I go?

Summer has begun!

I just got back from a quick camping trip to beautiful Utah desert. I love the sandstone and am happy it is so close to me. I actually wrote a great post my first night camping but the smallness of my phone screen canceled the wonderfully written post and I am left with this.
I found out Frida needs a very expensive surgery and have been considering my options, so want to show her as much fun as I can if infact, I have to make the decision to put her to sleep. As a friend said, all good dogs must die. It is just a shame that she is so young and has had already $2000 put in to her. I hate to make a decision solely based on money but I feel like I am being a grown up, and next time I get a pooch I will definitely be more financially available.
My camping spot had a little watering hole for cattle which Frida found after I had walked her over to it. She loves the water so much and I hope it doesn't hurt her torn ACL too much. She is so tried and dirty now. True signs of a happy dog. I am going to post some camping pictures soon.

oh restless nights

But at least the throbbing in my thumb from the splinter that wedged itself underneath my nail has gone, the pain kept me up all of last night. Tonight I have been reading pointless bloggs about child rearing, trips I may someday take,and unfathomable oil spills. The latter has really thrown me for a doozy the last few days, so much so that I haven't even written about the miracle of birth that I witnessed or the food I am beginning to grow. I have received a few volunteer emails from groups around Louisiana and am eager to help out firsthand, but the problem still looms and there is little set up to do for now. We can only hope the flow will stop. Unbelievable that the grand old US of A doesn't impose stricter regulations on possible catastrophic techniques. Will the band continue to play?
All of the craziness in the world reinforces my decision on not bringing children into this world. I have nothing against people that do, and am entirely appreciative that all of my sisters have birthed their own. But for me, I'll get me a few that need to be loved after I'm done with my schooling and have a stable adulthood, because 34 isn't mature yet..
But speaking of birth, I did witness one and what an event that was. Happy Birthday Holland James, on May 3 2010. What a smooth transition an epidural allows! I expected screaming and name calling etc, but got none of that. I cheered on my little sister and after about 3 hearty pushes she entered this earth. I did not expect the episiotomy and when I saw those shiny shears, I turned away and did not get to see the placenta delivered. Starr was able to watch everything and the god complex doctor explained where the cord was attached and all. How exciting Smith family! Glad it's not me! But happy to watch the talking child whenver you may need.

another from the tiny face.

There are night birds where a I currently reside. Thier songs I do love. I apologize for not keeping better blogg but tomorrows post will be one not to miss. What is the problem with guys? Come on! You're to be married in 19 days. A birth I will witness tomorrow! I wish it was in a trough.

on my tiny touch screen.. can you imagine?!

I blew out the candles long ago but still can't fall asleep because of the great mood that I am in. And for no other reason than my fabulous head (and the parts inside it).

and this is how life is supposed to be

Or actually how I like my life to be. I'm busy, getting ready for drinks with a friend who is passing through town, then off on a date, and then to a reinvented carnival, and finish it off with a stop by the W to say hello to my best friend, who by the way, owns the greatest dance club in Salt Lake City. Just ask City Weekly (I feel like a proud parent!)

for you Ira, and everything else

My life is killing me. Or my lack of life. Constant thought of changes I want to make but never do. What will it take? I feel like I am almost at that point, driven myself mad enough to finally do. The quote I was trying to remember with my mother is something like this- 'Out of the strain of the doing, into the peace of the done'. Should I get a new tatoo?
I get bursts of inspiration, I always have. But seldom do what needs to. For instance, for the first time in my life I have a business card. How many have I handed out? Not many. But some, I know I am hard on myself so am trying to reverse this thought as I type it out. It's working. I know I am capable of so much more and have the talent and support I need to achieve things. And my astrological sign exudes success, especially in the upcoming few years.
I should change the profile on my blogg to read- My $50 yoga mat sits in the corner and mocks me. I don't know what my excuse is of dining out and spending money that I do not have on an artichoke cheese dip with buckets of grease floating atop and feeling that it is fine to eat like this all of the time. Because I basically do. And it's always this inside my head, tomorrow I will get the bagel or doughnut that is oh so good and then I will start eating better. No, things do not work this way Shannon. That said dip, caused my friend to vomit hours later.
But for Ira I choose this- and I've said this before and it's embarrasing to live like this but it is the way I am and I love me, and I'm working on some things, so one day you'll see... Ira, all of the wonders of this mondern world which somewhat intimidate me needn't so. I need not feel so anxious at the thought of social interactions and must get out of my comfort zone in order to do anything different in my life. Remember what Einstein said about insanity. I don't want to go there just yet.

annoying suggestion

I got a few comments by some Mike fellow for a best blogg interview. Don't know where that came from, but I decided to participate. I don't even know where my blogg is on the site but check it check it yo, bloggerinterviewer.com. Vote for me, if you find me. And I hope I don't get a shitton load of emails from them now.