waiting between the interment and the social

The obituary shocked me completely because Lee was born on my exact same birthday. Talk about a wake up to the shortness of life. I'm at his funeral supporting his sort of x wife and having a few private battles in my head when all that is spoken of Lee goes against everything I am internalizing. Why am I like this? One fellow even said to cut all the B.S out of your head and be up front with everyone you meet. Then why did I tell the girl I was introduced to Sunday that I couldn't remember her name because I was drunk? Truth was that I never introduced myself to learn her name. I know Lee would have told me to get the freak out of my head, you're at my funeral dude!
It was such a beautiful afternoon and I got pretty inspired from all of the friends who spoke so kindly of this man. It made me want to get to know more people. I wish I had spent the time to know Lee better when we worked together. The sense of commuinty around this man is one that I long for. I need to get involved with something that will last throughout my life. Lee had his drums and I have my thumb, which seperates me more than I'd like to admit. It is hard to get involved when I am going to be relocating soon and don't know where I will end up. But if the longing for community is there, will it find me? Does everything truly happen for a reason? I feel as though it does, just as Lee felt his life wouldn't be too long.
Lee was a musician and when they gathered to play the most amazing drums the little chapel in Spanish Fork will probably ever hear, his spirit was definitely there. The drum teacher called out to all people Lee's age and since we were born on the exact same day I have to take what he said to heart. Whatever it is that you want to do, do it. Time is short and you never know when it will be taken away from you.
I started thinking, what is it that I wanted to do? Writing came first to mind and that is why I stopped to jot this down before going to the home of a loved one to partake in food and listen to more drums. And learning to play the harmonica is something I wanted for a long time and since this afternoon was totally music oriented I think it is the right time to start. Lee's younger brother, a pianist recalled talking to him on Tuesday (he died Friday the 13) and Lee told him to practice. He told us all that he was going to. And I should take those words to heart as well.